Sangtekst: Roger Miller. Best Of All Possible Worlds.

I was runnin' through the summer rain
Tryin' to catch that evenin' train
And kill that old familiar pain
Weavin' through my tangled brain
But when I tipped my bottle back
I smacked into a cop I didn't see

That policeman said, "Mr. Cool
If you're ain't drunk then you're a fool"
I said, "Well, if that's against the law
Then tell me why I never saw
A man locked in that jail of yours
That wouldn't just as lowdown poor as me"

Well, that was when someone turned out the lights
And I wound up in jail to spend the night
And dream of all the wine and lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds

Well, I woke up next morning
Feelin' like my head was gone
And like my thick old tongue
Was lickin' somethin' sick and long
And I told that man I'd sell my soul
For somethin' wet and cold in that old cell

Well, that kindly jailer just grinned at me
All eaten up with sympathy
Then he poured himself another beer
And he came and whispered in my ear
That booze was just a dime a bottle
Boy, you couldn't even buy the smell

I said, "I knew there was somethin' I liked bout this town
But it takes more than that to bring me down, down, down, down"
But there's a lot of wine and lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds

Well, they finally came and they told me
They was a gonna set me free
And that I'd be leavin' town
If I knew what was good for me
I said, "It's nice to learn that everybody's
So concerned about my health"

I said, "I won't be leavin' no more
Quicker than I fastly can
'Cause I've enjoyed about
As much of this as I can stand
And I don't need this town of yours more
Than I never needed nothin' else"

'Cause there's still a lot of drinks that I ain't drunk
And there's lots of pretty thoughts that I ain't thought, oh yeah
And Lord, there's still so many lonely girls
In this best of all possible worlds

Well, step right up to the wild [Incomprehensible]
[Incomprehensible] to the young
Step back, step back [Incomprehensible]
[Incomprehensible]